| you can and you cannot |
[03 Nov 2009|01:49pm] |
i think that if i swim to the bottom i could push through it, white and light, it would give if i tried, watching my shadow swim, i could break through the water to space, my feet staying anchored behind growing wrinkled, dry chlorine skin, waiting for me to see the stars and come home
try just one fluid motion, i just want a little grace leave this body behind and move like an after thought so i went straight down and the math of it came at me quick NO not enough feet or i have too many or or or i am too big or the world is too small
and so my forehead splits like a peach crack like snapping your bubblegum just right- i think there is blood in my eyes but no no it's just the water and now i don't feel solid, now i don't feel right, now i just feel, well god i may not be a planet but god, oh god i think i am lonely like one
okay so once you push through you can see, right? you can see space- how it's cold, how it's dark, how it goes one forever yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and no one knows just how you feel, your brains spilling out in the public pool and no one can share that with you no you are floating, spinning eyes so wide, wider still than the splitting of your skin.
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